My 48th trip around the sun!

Thank you for all of the birthday wishes near and far. As I begin my 48th trip around the sun, I am sure of a couple of things. 1. Family is really really important, whether it is the family you are born with or that you choose, it is the thing that keeps you grounded and a place of shelter in the storm. 2. Good friends are a treasure. The sort of people that celebrate not only the good things with you but are there in the not-so-good. The past two years have been filled with both, and so I am grateful for those of you who are on this journey with me. 3. Life is short, so dance as often as possible, even if you do not feel like it. A good DJ makes everything better! 4. There is a lot to be said about the baggage of religion, but faith in something bigger than you gives hope and strength. As long as we love God and love one another, all of the pieces fall into place. 5. Love what you do and the people you work with. We spend so much of our lives in these places we work, and they can be just a job, something that pays the bills. But when you love what you do, it gives you a sense of purpose and meaning. I am glad to have found that sense of purpose in several places throughout this journey. In all sorts of experiences and professions, I have grown as a human being and found a deep understanding of joy, some pain but mostly joy. So if you do not love what you do, make a change; your life and well-being will be better for it. I am blessed and feel lucky to make my way around this big ball of gas again. All the best, my friends! Cheers! Joe

Roof Digging Friends. Luke 5:17-20 Moreover, the power of the Lord was with Jesus to heal the sick. 18 Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. 19 When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. In this story, we hear about a man who is paralyzed and on a mat. Word had recently spread about Jesus and his ability to heal. We do not know much about the man or the specifics of his life as paraplegia. We do know, however, that he has true friends. Not good friends but, indeed, great friends. We know this because, in all likelihood, the roof through which they lowered the paralyzed man was made of mud and straw. We do not hear about tools the friends used to dig this massive hole so we must assume that they dug by hand. They embarked on this challenging roof digging endeavor so that Jesus could heal their friend. We all need friends like that. Friends who go the extra mile to show kindness or a helping hand. A friend who will drive in the middle of the night to meet you at the hospital or a friend who will take your call no matter what show they are watching. The sort of friend who will change plans just because you need some help. Friends - true friends - who dig a hole in a roof so that your life can potentially be forever changed. I believe, however, that it is not merely that we need friends like that in our own lives, but that we, too, are called to be that friend. Who are your people, your tribe, your friends that you know would dig a hole through the roof for you? Do you strive to be that sort of friend in return? Maybe it is God’s plan that we be the sort of friend who stands up for what is right, be the sort of friend who is there in a time of need, be the sort of friend who listens and offers encouraging words. Be the sort of friend who is willing to dig a hole through the roof. When this sort of kindness is shown it is contagious. Why not start a friendship revolution and show the world what it looks like to be a true friend? Be a Saint of a friend.

Gratitude “ As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[a] met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, ‘Jesus, Master, have pity on us!’ 14 When he saw them, he said, ‘Go, show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went, they were cleansed. 15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. 17 Jesus asked, ‘Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?’ 19 Then he said to him, ‘Rise and go; your faith has made you well.’ ” Luke 17:12-19 Jesus was walking to a village when ten sick men came to him and asked to be healed. The scripture says that they went and they were cleansed. The next part of the story, however, is my favorite. After the healing, only one of the men returned to Jesus and says thank you. There were ten people healed, their lives completely changed, and yet only one person came back to give his thanks. How often do people do kind things for us not receive thanks? Maybe we are busy, maybe we forget, or maybe we just do not pay attention. Saying thank you is a verbal recognition that a person went out of their way to help us. Saying thank you is our form of showing appreciation of others and acknowledging even small gifts of kindness. Giving thanks is an outward sign that we appreciate the gifts we have. It is my prayer that you will be the One in Ten. That you say thank you when someone holds a door or serves you lunch. That you say thank you when people treat you with small acts of kindness. It is in giving thanks that we show how grateful we really are. Be the One in Ten.

The Good Stuff 11 “I, the Sovereign Lord, tell you that I will look for my sheep and take care of them 12 in the same way as shepherds take care of their sheep that were scattered and are brought together again. I will bring them back from all the places where they were scattered on that dark, disastrous day. 13 I will take them out of foreign countries, gather them together, and bring them back to their land. I will lead them back to the mountains and the streams of Israel and will feed them in pleasant pastures. 14 I will let them graze in safety in the mountain meadows and the valleys and all the green pastures of the land of Israel. 15 I will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I will find them a place to rest. I, the Sovereign Lord, have spoken. Ezekiel 34:11-15 In this passage in Ezekiel God compares himself to a good shepherd and is the one taking care of His sheep. He leads them to places of food, shelter, and water; He gives them rest and security. The things God gives his sheep are good. It like being at Thanksgiving and getting the good turkey or the good seat. God takes care of his sheep with goodness. Recently my youngest daughter was collecting can goods for a can drive at school and she asked for my help. So I went to cabinet reached way in the back and pulled out several cans. I pulled out two cans of beets and a can of cream of mushroom soup. Proud of what I was doing I gladly handed them over to my daughter to take to school. She looked at me as if I had three eyes and a horn coming out of my head and said:" Dad what is this stuff ?" Canned food I said, and she responded, " I do not want to give hungry people this I want to give them the good stuff, I want to give them the cans of corn or the chicken noodle soup, nobody wants beets." If you are a canned beets fan, I do not want to discredit your taste, but she was right. I had given the stuff that I did not want and probably not the good thing. What if God were like that towards us. Withholding the good gifts from God's children what if God did not love us with the best but only that which was left over. Sometimes when it comes to giving we do not offer our best, we provide what we have left or what we do not want. What would happen if we gave the very best we could, what if we showed our gratefulness by providing the very best things that we can give? I believe in those moments we live into more of the image of how God has us. If we live into the image of the Good Shepherd we give with grateful hearts the very best we have to offer.

Hold on to what is good. Romans 12:9-10 9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. This past weekend I went rock climbing with my girls at a local rock climbing gym. We do this from time to time and we all love a good challenge. On this particular day, I found myself on a particularly challenging route that was testing my limit. I got to a spot and I was stuck. I was not really sure how I was going to continue and was just about ready to throw in the towel when the person who was belaying me said, “ there is a really good hold just to your right, if you make it to there you will make it to the top”. A good hold in climbing terms is one that gives you a really great grip either with your hands or your feet and you can use it for great leverage. Often a good hold is a difference between making it to the top or not. The problem is that there are often bad holds as well, ones that might look nice but just are not stable enough or good enough to get you to the top. IN FACT, THEY OFTEN GET IN YOUR WAY and keep you from making it to the top. When Paul is writing to the church in Rome he says as much, Holds on to what is good, not just hold on but cling to it. Paul knew that the only way we are moved forward in our life is if we hold on to things that are good. Relationships, friendships, beauty and caring for one another. When we hold on to things that are good, things that are of God it moves us forward, it calls us higher. Unfortunately when we hang on to the bad the opposite happens. When we hang on to hate, judgment, nonforgiveness those things pull us down they keep us from realizing our own potential. Recently, we have seen with Hurricane Harvey that even in the midst of a terrible situation where people have lost everything they are still holding on to the good, people are helping one another, giving to one another and there for one another. They could hold on to the bad but it is not going to move them forward, it is not going to pull them higher. Cling to what is good and be devoted to one another in love. We need to do more holding on to the good. So I reached my right hand out and sure enough, there was a good hold. I grabbed, I clung to it and I was able to continue up the face. I made it higher than I ever had. I made it to the top. May we be people who cling to what is good and allow God in Christ lift us higher!

Jesus Wept. When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. John 11:32 -35 So often when we think of what a real man looks like we envision a lumberjack sort of man. Chiseled jaw, great beard, and a handsome flannel. In fact, if we push this stereotype further we can probably picture this man eating a slim Jim and drinking Mountain Dew right from the 2-liter bottle. Real men think and act kind of like this guy. The problem is that I do not believe that it paints masculinity in a fair light. I mean don't get me wrong I love a great flannel but is this really what being a man is reduced to. Of course, we cannot forget the added clichés of "real men don't cry" and "toughen up buttercup". All of this leads to an image of what we think manhood is about but Jesus in this passage paints a very different picture. First, when Jesus sees Mary weeping and the other Jews, Jesus is deeply moved. He is empathetic towards what is happening. He feels the pain that is happening around him and instead of sweeping it under the hypothetical carpet he moves towards it. Jesus moves towards Mary not away. Jesus embraces the moment and is present with Mary in the midst of the hurting. Secondly, Jesus shows respect. How do we know this by the sure fact that he asks Mary a question. “Where did you lay him"? This is a big deal because women during the time of Jesus were not considered equal and here is Jesus directly speaking to Mary and being compassionate towards her. Jesus respects her in a day and age where that was not the norm. Jesus is being a gentleman and not looking past her for someone else. He deeply cares for Mary and her sister Martha and shows that in the respect he gives. Lastly, Jesus weeps. I have always loved this verse mostly because when I was younger and in Sunday school this was the easiest verse to memorize, it is the shortest in the Bible. So it was my go to. But more recently I have understood that it shows Jesus' humanity. He had just lost one of his closest friends and he was sad. So often as men and boys, we are told to have a stiff upper lip and to keep our emotions from showing. I would agree that being emotional is not always beneficial particularly anger but what we have taught is that you ought not to feel. Good, bad or sad. It is as if we are some sort of robot with programmed responses for everything. None of which are real or accurately depict what is going on in our hearts and souls. We do not know how to grieve so we just act as if everything is ok. THIS IS SILLY and Jesus gives us a better way. He weeps. Jesus is the MAN literally he is Son of God and all so if he can cry for the loss of one of his dearest friends it is ok for me to act like I care too. I do not have to pretend I have my stuff all together all the time. Jesus gives us permission by the example he sets forth. He understands empathy and being in a moment, he understands what showing mutual respect to others is all about and mostly when he feels something he does not try to cover it up he is just present in the moment. Obviously we cannot go around crying all the time, we would run out of tissues but we can certainly practice not trying to hide when we have been hurt or mistreated and find the words and language to use to talk about what is going on. We do not have to be afraid of emotions just learn to talk about them like real men and boys becoming men. Rev Joe Torrence Lower School Chaplain Sermon given to 3-5th Grader Chapel on Monday. April 3,2017.

Everybody should do this once

Today I had the great honor of going to the 10th Annual Kickball game between the 4th graders and 5th graders of my kid's elementary school. She is a fifth grader so I had my own bias. Showing up I heard chanting and banter between the two sides and of course I was cheering for the 5th graders. They ended up being a little short staffed for the event so they asked if I would mind being the Ref. Being the good dad that I am of course I said yes and thought "this will be fun". WOW lapse in judgement. I was not far into calling the game when I realized this is "for real" and I had better get out my best A game for umping. I do not have an A game for umping so I made it up as I went along. I made every one mad both sides expressing their outrage at me with equal intensity. In fact one of the teachers was so agitated with me she called a time out in which I was the focus of the conversation. I am not sure if I have ever been so disliked by so many people at once. And I really like for people to like me so this was incredibly difficult and way outside of where I like to be. I realized by the fourth inning that I was not going to make anyone happy or make any new friends so I could only do my best and let the chips fall where they may. I could only call the game and call what I saw. So that's what I did and I am still here to write about it. I missed a lot of calls but I got a couple right as well. At the end of the game I did not get asked for many autographs but I knew that I had done the best I could with my limited umpire knowledge I had and so that had to be good enough. I realized today that when everyone dislikes you it is not the end of the world. It was actually kind of freeing. I gave up trying to please people and just did what I thought was the right thing. I think so often in leadership and in ministry we are so consumed about what others think and how they will "like " us we give up our ability to do "right" to make the good call or stand in the gap for those without a voice. Most of us ministry folks really liked being liked in fact we suck it up like a big gulp from 7-11 but we often compromise our own ability to lead because being liked takes precedent over leading our needs take precedent over the needs of others. We need to make the tough calls, take a stand and mostly do the best we can with the skills and talents God has given us and in the end that is enough. That is all we are really ever called to. To do those things is really all we can ask for from ourselves and from others. I don't know if this whole ministry thing does not work out maybe I have a second career as an Ump. Play Ball!

Keep Walking..

The whole Israelite community complained against Moses and Aaron in the desert. The Israelites said to them, “Oh, how we wish that the Lord had just put us to death while we were still in the land of Egypt. There we could sit by the pots cooking meat and eat our fill of bread. Instead, you’ve brought us out into this desert to starve this whole assembly to death.” Then the Lord said to Moses, “I’m going to make bread rain down from the sky for you. The people will go out each day and gather just enough for that day. In this way, I’ll test them to see whether or not they follow my Instruction.” Exodus 16:2-4 In his collection of poems Standing by Words, Wendell Berry wrote, “It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey.” The Israelites were in a crucial place in their journey to move forward into a new future or go back to what they had always known. It took Israel about five seconds to realize how uncomfortable things would get before God was finished forming them into the people God had intended since creation. Honestly, it might have been easier for Moses and Aaron to lead them back to Egypt, maybe grab a sandwich on the way! But they would never take their true place as God’s community of love and justice. They would miss out on the journey that God had for them to the promise land. The work of becoming who God is calling you to be leads often to a place of pain or uncertainty. And yet when has God ever abandoned you to it? Your belly may burn, but God will sustain you with bread from heaven, and you’ll know you’re on the right track. The hardest part about the Journey with God is that you are never quite sure where it will lead but if we have faith and trust we can be certain that God will provide everything we need just when we need it. Sometimes all we need to do is just keep walking and know that we are not walking alone. Prayer: May your journey closer to God be one of discovery and may you know that God is always the one who provides when we are in need. May you just keep walking in faith and trust the One who provides. Amen!

Can you really be happy...

What we are teaching this week... Live with a teen long enough and you’ll start to see a pattern: up, down, good mood, bad mood, happy, sad. We’ve all heard about the emotional swings of adolescence and probably remember living through our own version of it. Any combination of homework, happenings, and hormones can turn them into a grouchy mess or a giggling goofball. Actually, research indicates that, during puberty, teen’s brains develop the ability to experience intense emotions like rage, sorrow, and elation. Unfortunately, neural connections that help students control and process these emotions doesn’t develop until later. (http://www.livescience.com/21461-teen-brain-adolescence-facts.html ) So pace yourself, because for at least a few years, you’ll have teens who have strong emotions but no tools to sort through them yet. The good news is, there are a few things you can do to help them navigate the ups and downs until your teenager figures out how to work through the on their own. 1. Be there for them, but don’t join in. As much as they hate to admit it, students will often take emotional cues from their parents. How you react to their situation will give them an idea of how they should react. So, as parents, we must be careful not to get sucked in to the meaningless drama of the lunch table or the contagious funk of teen angst. Empathize, but don’t participate. This doesn’t mean we have to hide our emotions or live like robot, but it does mean that we don’t hop on the emotional roller coaster with them every time it goes by. 2. Help them zoom out. Perspective is everything. Often with teens, when one thing is going badly they feel like everything in their life is falling apart. Or, if one thing is going well, they may focus on that and feel that nothing else matters. Either way, it us up to us to help them find perspective until their brains mature enough to sort out what is a big deal and what isn’t. This doesn’t mean we belittle their emotions. What they feel is very real to them, but we can help them gain some perspective by working to zoom out their lens and take in the bigger picture. Ask them to tell you… …one good thing that happened to them today. …5 things they’re thankful for. …2 things they’re looking forward to doing. Focusing on what’s going well or what’s coming next or can help them digest what’s happening now.

A repost from Rob Bell- A Life worth Living

Notes on Creating a Life Worth Living ROB BELL·WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2, 2016 I once volunteered to give a sermon. I’d never given a sermon. How do you put together a sermon? I had no idea. I took a walk to think about it and had a few ideas, so I wrote them down. A few more thoughts came the next day, so I wrote them down. I read some passages in the Bible, which spurred some more thoughts, so I wrote them down. And then Sunday morning came and I stood up to speak. I clearly remember standing there about to start my talk and knowing that this was what I was going to do with my life. It wasn’t just the speaking part that I loved, it was the preparation and the nerves and arranging the ideas and going over it again and again, trying to make it better—I loved everything leading up to giving that sermon. I loved the whole process. There’s another memory I have of that morning that’s mixed in among the trembling nerves and explosive joy, one that hasn’t left me twenty-five years later. I specifically remember thinking that even if I wasn’t very good at giving sermons, I had found something that would get me out of bed in the morning . . . The Japanese have a word for what gets you out of bed in the morning: they call it your ikigai. Your ikigai is that sense you have when you wake up that this day matters, that there are new experiences to be had, that you have work to do, a contribution to make. Sometimes this is referred to as your calling, other times your vocation, your destiny, your path. Your ikigai is your reason for being. If you’re like a lot of people, the moment the words path and vocation and calling come into the conversation, let alone a new word like ikigai, a thousand questions come to mind. Questions about paychecks and responsibility and passion and what you wish you could do if only you didn’t have those bills to pay . . . Figuring It Out We are always in the endless process of figuring out our ikigai. Your ikigai is a web of work and family and play and how you spend your time, what you give your energies to, what you say “yes” to, what you say “no” to, what new challenges you take on, things that come your way that you never wanted or planned for or know what to do with— your ikigai is a work in progress because you are a work in progress. Knowing your ikigai, then, takes patience, and insight, and courage, and honesty. You try lots of different things. You volunteer, you sign up, you take a class, you do an internship, you get the training, you shadow someone around for a day who does something that intrigues you. You follow your curiosity. You watch for things that grab your attention. this is much easier when you’re younger and have less financial pressure and fewer others depending on you, but it’s true no matter how old you are. You explore the possibilities because you can’t steer a parked car. The one thing that unites the people I know who are on satisfying and meaningful paths is that they kept trying things, kept exploring, kept pursuing new opportunities, kept searching until they discovered their ikigai. And then from there they never stop figuring it out because they understand how absolutely crucial this is in creating a life worth living. Someone Should When you pursue your path, exploring the possibilities as you search for your ikigai, pay careful attention to things that make you angry and get you all riled up and provoke you to say, Someone should do something about that!!! The someone may be you. Some people find their ikigai by asking, What do I love to do? Others find theirs by asking, What makes me angry? What wrongs need to be righted? What injustice needs to be resisted? Listen to your life. Look back on the moments when you felt most connected to the world around you. think about those experiences in which you felt the most comfortable in your own skin. Reflect on when you were most aware of something wrong in the world and your strong response to it. Be honest about your joy. Sometimes our ikigai is jammed way down in our hearts somewhere because we were told early on, You can’t make money doing that, or That isn’t a real job, or That’s a waste of time. Ask yourself: Am I not pursuing my path because of what someone has told me is and isn’t acceptable? Which leads to another truth about your ikigai: It may involve a paycheck and it may not. I once recorded an album that no one cared about. I had written a number of songs so I booked time at a studio near my house, but I didn’t have a band at the time so I had a friend play the drums and I played everything else. I had it mixed and mastered and I made a few copies for friends. Who didn’t say a thing. Literally, I would play them the songs and when each song was done they’d say something like, I heard it’s supposed to rain later this week, or Didn’t you say you had some queso dip you’d made? I’d love to try it . . . Quite quickly I realized that no one cared about my music but me. Which was awkward at first, and then freeing. Some things you do for you. You do them because it gives you great satisfaction and it puts a smile on your face and that’s it. And that’s fine. It’s not just fine, it’s necessary. It makes you a better person, it fills your soul, it opens you up to life in its fullness. So don’t apologize for it, enjoy it. You may love doing or creating or making or organizing something, but that’s different from it being your job. If music was my job, I’d hate it. What often happens is that we love doing a particular thing and so our next thought is, I should do this for my job. Here’s the problem with that impulse: Getting a paycheck for doing that thing you love may actually ruin it. Interests, art forms, talents, hobbies, missions, passions, service projects, and causes all have their proper place in our lives. Some things we do fill us with life so that we can give ourselves to our work in the world with greater love and vitality and passion. Some things we get paid for, some things we don’t. There’s a good chance your ikigai will change over time. Relax, this is normal. You may get trained to do one thing but end up doing something very different. You may get your dream job and then get fired. Or the company may have to lay people off or there’s only one opportunity at the moment in that particular line of work and it’s in New Zealand. Or Bangladesh. Or Ohio. Someone you love may get sick and need you to care for her, you may have a child with special needs whose primary care falls to you, you may become injured and not be able to do that thing that you’ve done all these years. That may happen. And it’s okay. It’s all part of how your ikigai gets worked out over the course of your life. Step Several years ago I was talking with a very wealthy man I know—let’s call him Wayne. Wayne doesn’t have to work another day in his life. that kind of wealth. And yet all he wanted to talk about is how bored he is. It’s the inertia of options: If you don’t have to go anywhere or do anything in the morning, that’s what may happen. You may not go anywhere or do anything. As it’s written in the book of Genesis, we make our way in the world by the sweat of our brow. too much money, not enough money, too many demands, not enough challenge, stressed from all the responsibility, bored and restless and ready for more responsibility— there is a tension at the heart of our humanity that none of us can escape. To be here is to embrace the spiritual challenge of your ikigai, doing the hard work of figuring out who you are and what you have to give the world. This is work we all have to do, because we’re all a piece of work, in the endless process of exploring our ikigai. I get up in the morning and I sit down and start working on my next book or talk or show because it’s the most natural thing to do and yet it regularly takes all of the discipline and focus I can possibly muster to stay here at this desk and keep working. I can’t imagine being anywhere else and yet some days I can’t imagine anything more difficult than. the. next. sentence. Your ikigai is exhausting and exhilarating, draining and invigorating, all at the same time. There are moments when nothing in the world seems more difficult, and yet you can’t imagine doing anything else. There is a paradox to your ikigai because sometimes the easiest thing to do and the hardest thing to do will be the exact same thing. Selling your house, giving away possessions, working multiple jobs for a period of time, going back to school and moving in with friends or relatives, sharing a car with your partner and riding your bike more, investing all your savings in a new venture, living on the other side of the world for a year— your friends may not understand, your co-workers may not get it, your extended family may think you’ve lost your mind— that’s okay. Better to receive some odd looks and have a few people roll their eyes than spend your days wondering, What if I did that . . . ? Take that step. Make that leap. Try that new thing. If it helps clarify your ikigai, if it gets you up in the morning, if it’s good for you and the world, do it. #FacebookFirstReads is a series of exclusive excerpts from soon-to-be released books. Excerpted from How to Be Here by Rob Bell. Copyright ©2016 by WORB, Inc. Published by HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

Stepping Up part 2- Who God is matters more then who you are not

"Who God is matters more than who you’re not. Who are you? Have you ever thought about how you’d answer that question? A long time ago people were known by a label that went with their name. Alexander the Great. Richard the Lion Heart. Winnie the Pooh. So when you’re asking yourself that question— who you really are—you’re essentially asking yourself what adjective goes in your blank. Who do you think you are? Because who you think you are directly impacts everything about your attitude and performance in the face of challenge. Unfortunately for a lot of us, we tend to focus less on who we are and more on who we are not. Joshua experienced this same thing in Joshua 1" xp3 Students Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:6-9 NLT). Joshua finds himself unsure of who he is and needs to be reminded by the Lord that it is not so much about his identity and purpose but of God's. God says "I am with you and I am faithful." God gives Joshua a pep talk of sorts that not only helps him discover who he is but, more importantly, whose he is. Sometimes in order for us to step up in our lives we need to be reminded of whose we are and because of whose we are we can be BOLD in our life. May we live a life of BOLdness because we know whose we are.

9 traits of a church bully

Traits of Church Bullies By Thom Rainer “Church bullying is epidemic in many of our congregations.” Church bullies are common in many churches. They wreak havoc and create dissension. They typically must have an “enemy” in the church, because they aren’t happy unless they are fighting a battle. They tend to maneuver to get an official leadership position in the church, such as chairman of the elders or deacons or treasurer. But they may have bully power without any official position. Church bullies have always been around. But they seem to be doing their work more furiously today than in recent history. Perhaps this look at nine traits of church bullies can help us recognize them before they do too much damage. 1. They do not recognize themselves as bullies. To the contrary, they see themselves as necessary heroes sent to save the church from her own self. 2. They have personal and self-serving agendas. They have determined what “their” church should look like. Any person or ministry or program that is contrary to their perceived ideal church must be eliminated. 3. They seek to form power alliances with weak members in the church. They will pester and convince groups, committees and persons to be their allies in their cause. Weaker church staff members and church members will succumb to their forceful personalities. 4. They tend to have intense and emotional personalities. These bullies use the intensity of their personalities to get their way. 5. They are famous for saying “people are saying.” They love to gather tidbits of information and shape it to their own agendas. See my previous post on this one item. 6. They find their greatest opportunities in low-expectation churches. Many of the church members have an entitlement view of church membership. They seek to get their own needs and preferences fulfilled. They, therefore, won’t trouble themselves to confront and deal with church bullies. That leads to the next issue, which is a consequence of this point 7. They are allowed to bully because church members will not stand up to them. I have spoken with pastors and church staff who have been attacked by church bullies. While the bully brings them great pain, they have even greater hurt because most of the church members stood silent and let it happen. 8. They create chaos and wreak havoc. A church bully always has his next mission. While he or she may take a brief break from one bullying mission to the next, they are not content unless they are exerting the full force of their manipulative behavior. 9. They often move to other churches after they have done their damage. Whether they are forced out or simply get bored, they will move to other churches with the same bullying mission. Some bullies have wreaked havoc in three or more churches. Church bullying is epidemic in many of our congregations. They must be stopped. In my article on Wednesday, I deal with the topic of preventing church bullying. In the meantime, let me hear from you. Thom Rainer Thom S. Rainer is the president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources (LifeWay.com). Among his greatest joys are his family: his wife Nellie Jo; three sons, Sam, Art, and Jess; and six grandchildren. He was founding dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions, Evangelism, and Church Growth at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. His many books include Surprising Insights from the Unchurched, The Unexpected Journey, and Breakout Churches. More from Thom Rainer or visit Thom at http://www.thomrainer.com

Stepping Up

Used from xp3 Students Stepping Up Stepping up = seeing God in your situation. What makes you nervous? Is it speaking in front of people? Starting on the basketball team? Asking someone on a date? Whatever it is, there’s a pretty good chance that it has to do with one thing: failure. We’re all afraid we’ll mess up, fail, and look foolish. In fact, that fear is the very reason that most of us step back from challenges in moments where we could step up. That was certainly the case for a group of guys in the Bible that were sent to check out the Promised Land. For most of them, the report was simple: don’t do it. Don’t go there. Step Back. Almost all of them agreed that the new land was too scary, too dangerous, and that failure was too much of a possibility. Along with his friend, one of the men had something different in his report. And as we follow along with how Joshua learned to step up and out of fear, we’ll see how God can help us do the same. And that is just it, when we see God in the situation with us we are able to step boldly in faith. So often though our vision is clouded and we forget that God is indeed the God who is with us and the God who is for us. In those moments we remember that we are able to do radical things for the Kingdom. May we have the faith of Joshua and step boldly knowing that God is with us.

Waiting on a prayer..

Recently I have been thinking a lot about Joseph, you know Joseph coat of many colors Joseph. So his dad gives him this great coat, Joseph has a great vision and we are set for incredible things to begin to happen. But as the story goes , Joseph gets thrown into a pit , traded into slavery, works his way up the ladder , falls down because of a woman and finds himself in jail trapped again. So if you do the math from the time he first has his vision /dream /gets a cool coat/ and ends up in jail years go by. Can you imagine waiting years to go by waiting for an answer to a prayer. Honestly I do not like to wait 5 seconds for God to answer my payers but to wait years. Or like Abraham and Sarah or Zacharia and Elizabeth, the scriptures are full of people who wait. Me on the other hand short change the system and when the answer is not right in front of me, I answer my own prayer. By the way this never works out well. So often in life we settle for good when God wants to give us great. Really waiting on the answer to a prayer is the core of what it means to have faith in God. Putting our trust in the knowledge that God wants what is best for us and that God's love for us never stops. It is the living out of Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. And maybe that is why it is so difficult to be patient, being patient requires trust. So as you are waiting remember that God is faithful and trust that what God has in store for you is a future Hope. Happy Waiting !

You ever wonder what is next ?

I am not real sure why I am thinking of this now but do you ever wonder what is next in your life ? Or maybe not even that big of a question but thinking while you are eating lunch , wonder what we will have for dinner? Not sure about you but I feel like I spend a lot of time asking the question what is next. And not just asking the question but actively seeking an answer or actively making up an answer. If I am honest a lot of my time is spent thinking of the future or at least what I would like the future to be and maybe it is pointless. Perhaps the real point is the waiting, perhaps the real point is sitting and being present in the now. But that is really difficult for me to do because I just want the answers. When I was in middle school I was not a huge fan of Algebra so when it came time to do my homework I did what any 8th grader would do, I turned to the back of the book to find the answers. It worked out great, I did really well in Algebra 1 and made it past 8th grade. Well it worked really well until I got to Algebra 2 and the answers were not in the back of the book anymore. Needless to say I struggled with Algebra 2 a lot , in fact I loved it so much I did it twice. The point being had I have really taken the time to learn Algebra 1 , Algebra 2 would not have been so difficult but I wanted to get to what was next. Once I got there I only found that it was not so great because I missed the stuff that would have made the next great , better, easier. As we leave the Advent season , the season of waiting I have realized I have missed the point, I just wanted Jesus to hurry up and get here and I missed all of the lessons you learn while you are just waiting, persevering and learning what you need to learn in a particular season. I am at next and missed the things that would have made it great. I do not want to wonder what is next and miss what is here now. So that is my prayer. Lord help me to be present today , help me to see you where you show up today, lead me by the still water today, teach me what I need to know just for today. May your next be filled with waiting today.

What is real worship ...

As you may know I lead worship for our students, staff and Senior Adult at UMFS (United Methodist Family Services) www.umfs.org, once every month. This is a time where we gather with everyone to share in what God is doing in our lives and pray for one another. We sing a few songs, hear and respond to the Word and spend time together in prayer. Nothing fancy but I feel as if I experience more of what the church is supposed to be there then I do anywhere else. Yesterday for example we sang," Lord I lift your name on High" and I know before you judge me on the song choice or lack of Spiritual depth of the song consider this. The young lady who was helping me lead this song has bounced around from foster family, to treatment center to foster family most of her life. She has substance abuse issues, family issues and issue issues. She is a mess. But yesterday in singing this song something happened in this broken mess of a person singing, God was doing a transforming work in her life. She sang that song loud and out of tune but it was beautiful because it was real. Out of the depth of her brokenness she was singing a new song, it was amazing. As she sang ' Lord I lift your name on high, Lord I love to sing your praises, I’m so glad you’re in my life, I’m so glad you came to save us" It became her prayer. In response one of the senior adults from Guardian Place stood and said this is what church is to look like " a gathering of the beautiful broken lifting the Lords name on high". She was right. It is not about the song choice or cool video or what prayer we pray or not. If we use the lectionary or a sermon series, the point is the beautiful broken lifting their hearts together to the one that brings order out of chaos and new creation out of death. This is why we worship. At the close of worship this same girl who sang Lord I lift your name on high closed with the Jason Mraz song I want give up. She sang When I look into your eyes It's like watching the night sky Or a beautiful sunrise Well, there's so much they hold And just like them old stars I see that you've come so far To be right where you are How old is your soul? Well, I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough I'm giving you all my love I'm still looking up Maybe it is just a song or perhaps it is a sacred prayer of how God's love if for us, regardless I left our time together yesterday knowing that God was and is at work in our world and every now and again we are aware enough to notice.

A Place to belong ..

A Place To Belong By Rev. Joe Torrence There is a restaurant down the street from where I work. Every day after work, it is full of young adults eating food from local food trucks and hanging out in the parking lot. The place is not really that nice. There are a few picnic tables. It is outside. It has no air conditioning and no comfy chairs. Nothing screams young and cool. But, every afternoon they flock to this local establishment. They come from all walks of life; young bankers and business people, artists and poets, and even the occasional clergy person. They come; they gather; they connect and they often stay late into the night. They have found what we are all looking for, a place to belong. As I am thinking about the question “where are all of the young clergy?” It leads me to another question, “where are the 20-30 year olds in our congregations?” The answer is looking for community, looking for a place to fit in. It drives everything from the work we do, to what we do for recreation and who we have dinner with. Is there anyone out there who gets me for me? Recently, studies have shown how most mainline denominations have lost tons of people over the last few years and decades. There are fewer youth and young adults in our congregations than there were just 20 years ago. The average age in our denomination continues to go up because we are losing more and more young people. In Richmond, where I live, the kickball league participation and wiffle ball clubs have sky rocketed over the last five years. The point is 20-30 year olds are looking for a place to find community, and they are creating their own. And it isn’t just any community, but a community that is authentic, real and tangible. The folks who show up to the restaurant are not just eating and socializing, they are doing life together. They are friends walking through life together. Sometimes a messy life, but they stick around for one another. The kickball team does the same. There is something powerful about doing life together in a real sort of way, all of the good things and not so good things. We find relationships that are real, and we commit ourselves to the place we found it. I mean that is what Jesus did, he gathered his 12 together and they did life together. He even had an inner circle who really knew him. In fact, Jesus said in John 15:15 I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends. NRSV Jesus is surrounding himself with community, real relationships, people who knew him well and that he was connected to. I have a pastor friend and we were talking about friendships in the church. He said “I don’t think I have ever had a real friend in my church, certainly know one who really knew me”. I find that incredibly disappointing. We all need others. We need each other. If I were a young clergy, I know that I would not want to sign up for a life of solitude, a life of no authentic relationships, or no place to belong. And if our congregations see us as real people who have authentic relationships like Jesus did with his disciples, there is a powerful witness in that. We, as ministers, are real life examples of not having it all together. But, God’s grace is working in our lives. This reality is what young clergy and young adults are searching for because realness leads to belonging and belonging to transformation. That is the Gospel. Doing life together and being a community is the church in its most pure form. When we are with people as Jesus was, we show a life of healing, compassion, inclusion and restoration. It becomes less about the issues and more about a relationship. It becomes about community. Of course, a relational God wants us to be relational. That is how it all makes sense. In the end, to see more young adults and clergy in our congregations, it requires us to be authentic now, to seek relationships with others, and to live the Good News out in those relationships. In so doing, we will be a part of a transformational community that is inviting others to join. Doing life together, no matter what that crazy life may look like. When we do that, kickball and restaurants will have nothing on the church, Jesus said so.

Abound in love...

1 Thessalonians 3:12 - And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, just as we abound in love for you. NRSV As some of you may know I have taken a new position at UMFS or United Methodist Family Services as the Chaplain. I have only been here for a few week but have already experienced the incredible ways God is at work here. The following is an introduction to our call as the church of sharing the love of God. Personal information has been changed but the story is no less true. Jake, age 12, has a story that is not that uncommon to UMFS. Jake was taken from his biological parents because his father was incarcerated and his mother suffered from a mental illness. Over the next several years he would be in and out of foster care and other intensive residential care. Jake is now at United Methodist Family Services, a ministry, we as the Church, support. During his time at UMFS, he has experienced a love that knows no bounds and is being equipped with the knowledge and skills he needs to succeed in life. UMFS has also helped Jake find a family that will continue this loving support. Jake is finding hope and this is evidenced through the future that is ahead for Jake, made possible through love. It is love for one another and love for all. It is this sort of love that we are called to Abound in and to share with others. May we never forget that we love because God first loved us.

A Response for my friends at RISE

The Kingdom breaking forth is really about all of those things , the tension between joy and sorrow, hurt and healing , mercy and grace, Chaos and creation. The Church and more importantly the people of God stand in the unique position to be able to speak into all of those things, it is the Gospel revealed in our life and actions . It is the concept of love over powering hate and operating with the understanding that as John Perkins said, we have to need each other. The tension we experience is a reflection of how things are and the hope of what is to come, our challenge if we choose to accept it is to help the Hope to be revealed in and through us in the name of Jesus who sends us. Rise may you continue to bring forth the Kingdom in your neighborhood..

Students serving the world

It use to be I would have a ton of students show up for the fun stuff we did like bowling, laser tag or whatever but in the last 7 years or so I have seen a real shift. We now have twice as many students come to our community service Saturdays as we do to any "fun night" we do and these Saturdays have become our best way to invite new people into our ministry. I believe there are several reasons for this, one is that most schools now require community service hours to graduate the other is that students care about the injustice they see in the world. Most of our students live in a culture where their parents do most things for them, they really do not have to do much for themselves. Providing places to serve is different though, students like to be needed they want to physically do things but they really do not know what to do and so they often do nothing. That is why things such as Invisible Children have really taken off. It is flashy and cool and it is empowering to students that they can be the change they want to see in the world. IC taps into the things they are already doing such as facebook twitter and other social media. Students today have incredible resources at their finger tips the problem is that we as a society have never really asked them to do something productive with those resources. They just want to see the difference their giving makes and it inspires them to do more. Our largest challenge is connecting what they are doing with how they live as Christ followers in the world. It is more then just a good deed , we love others because God first loved us. When we can make that connection this Service Revolution will revitalize the Church.