Everybody should do this once

Today I had the great honor of going to the 10th Annual Kickball game between the 4th graders and 5th graders of my kid's elementary school. She is a fifth grader so I had my own bias. Showing up I heard chanting and banter between the two sides and of course I was cheering for the 5th graders. They ended up being a little short staffed for the event so they asked if I would mind being the Ref. Being the good dad that I am of course I said yes and thought "this will be fun". WOW lapse in judgement. I was not far into calling the game when I realized this is "for real" and I had better get out my best A game for umping. I do not have an A game for umping so I made it up as I went along. I made every one mad both sides expressing their outrage at me with equal intensity. In fact one of the teachers was so agitated with me she called a time out in which I was the focus of the conversation. I am not sure if I have ever been so disliked by so many people at once. And I really like for people to like me so this was incredibly difficult and way outside of where I like to be. I realized by the fourth inning that I was not going to make anyone happy or make any new friends so I could only do my best and let the chips fall where they may. I could only call the game and call what I saw. So that's what I did and I am still here to write about it. I missed a lot of calls but I got a couple right as well. At the end of the game I did not get asked for many autographs but I knew that I had done the best I could with my limited umpire knowledge I had and so that had to be good enough. I realized today that when everyone dislikes you it is not the end of the world. It was actually kind of freeing. I gave up trying to please people and just did what I thought was the right thing. I think so often in leadership and in ministry we are so consumed about what others think and how they will "like " us we give up our ability to do "right" to make the good call or stand in the gap for those without a voice. Most of us ministry folks really liked being liked in fact we suck it up like a big gulp from 7-11 but we often compromise our own ability to lead because being liked takes precedent over leading our needs take precedent over the needs of others. We need to make the tough calls, take a stand and mostly do the best we can with the skills and talents God has given us and in the end that is enough. That is all we are really ever called to. To do those things is really all we can ask for from ourselves and from others. I don't know if this whole ministry thing does not work out maybe I have a second career as an Ump. Play Ball!

Keep Walking..

The whole Israelite community complained against Moses and Aaron in the desert. The Israelites said to them, “Oh, how we wish that the Lord had just put us to death while we were still in the land of Egypt. There we could sit by the pots cooking meat and eat our fill of bread. Instead, you’ve brought us out into this desert to starve this whole assembly to death.” Then the Lord said to Moses, “I’m going to make bread rain down from the sky for you. The people will go out each day and gather just enough for that day. In this way, I’ll test them to see whether or not they follow my Instruction.” Exodus 16:2-4 In his collection of poems Standing by Words, Wendell Berry wrote, “It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey.” The Israelites were in a crucial place in their journey to move forward into a new future or go back to what they had always known. It took Israel about five seconds to realize how uncomfortable things would get before God was finished forming them into the people God had intended since creation. Honestly, it might have been easier for Moses and Aaron to lead them back to Egypt, maybe grab a sandwich on the way! But they would never take their true place as God’s community of love and justice. They would miss out on the journey that God had for them to the promise land. The work of becoming who God is calling you to be leads often to a place of pain or uncertainty. And yet when has God ever abandoned you to it? Your belly may burn, but God will sustain you with bread from heaven, and you’ll know you’re on the right track. The hardest part about the Journey with God is that you are never quite sure where it will lead but if we have faith and trust we can be certain that God will provide everything we need just when we need it. Sometimes all we need to do is just keep walking and know that we are not walking alone. Prayer: May your journey closer to God be one of discovery and may you know that God is always the one who provides when we are in need. May you just keep walking in faith and trust the One who provides. Amen!

Can you really be happy...

What we are teaching this week... Live with a teen long enough and you’ll start to see a pattern: up, down, good mood, bad mood, happy, sad. We’ve all heard about the emotional swings of adolescence and probably remember living through our own version of it. Any combination of homework, happenings, and hormones can turn them into a grouchy mess or a giggling goofball. Actually, research indicates that, during puberty, teen’s brains develop the ability to experience intense emotions like rage, sorrow, and elation. Unfortunately, neural connections that help students control and process these emotions doesn’t develop until later. (http://www.livescience.com/21461-teen-brain-adolescence-facts.html ) So pace yourself, because for at least a few years, you’ll have teens who have strong emotions but no tools to sort through them yet. The good news is, there are a few things you can do to help them navigate the ups and downs until your teenager figures out how to work through the on their own. 1. Be there for them, but don’t join in. As much as they hate to admit it, students will often take emotional cues from their parents. How you react to their situation will give them an idea of how they should react. So, as parents, we must be careful not to get sucked in to the meaningless drama of the lunch table or the contagious funk of teen angst. Empathize, but don’t participate. This doesn’t mean we have to hide our emotions or live like robot, but it does mean that we don’t hop on the emotional roller coaster with them every time it goes by. 2. Help them zoom out. Perspective is everything. Often with teens, when one thing is going badly they feel like everything in their life is falling apart. Or, if one thing is going well, they may focus on that and feel that nothing else matters. Either way, it us up to us to help them find perspective until their brains mature enough to sort out what is a big deal and what isn’t. This doesn’t mean we belittle their emotions. What they feel is very real to them, but we can help them gain some perspective by working to zoom out their lens and take in the bigger picture. Ask them to tell you… …one good thing that happened to them today. …5 things they’re thankful for. …2 things they’re looking forward to doing. Focusing on what’s going well or what’s coming next or can help them digest what’s happening now.

A repost from Rob Bell- A Life worth Living

Notes on Creating a Life Worth Living ROB BELL·WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2, 2016 I once volunteered to give a sermon. I’d never given a sermon. How do you put together a sermon? I had no idea. I took a walk to think about it and had a few ideas, so I wrote them down. A few more thoughts came the next day, so I wrote them down. I read some passages in the Bible, which spurred some more thoughts, so I wrote them down. And then Sunday morning came and I stood up to speak. I clearly remember standing there about to start my talk and knowing that this was what I was going to do with my life. It wasn’t just the speaking part that I loved, it was the preparation and the nerves and arranging the ideas and going over it again and again, trying to make it better—I loved everything leading up to giving that sermon. I loved the whole process. There’s another memory I have of that morning that’s mixed in among the trembling nerves and explosive joy, one that hasn’t left me twenty-five years later. I specifically remember thinking that even if I wasn’t very good at giving sermons, I had found something that would get me out of bed in the morning . . . The Japanese have a word for what gets you out of bed in the morning: they call it your ikigai. Your ikigai is that sense you have when you wake up that this day matters, that there are new experiences to be had, that you have work to do, a contribution to make. Sometimes this is referred to as your calling, other times your vocation, your destiny, your path. Your ikigai is your reason for being. If you’re like a lot of people, the moment the words path and vocation and calling come into the conversation, let alone a new word like ikigai, a thousand questions come to mind. Questions about paychecks and responsibility and passion and what you wish you could do if only you didn’t have those bills to pay . . . Figuring It Out We are always in the endless process of figuring out our ikigai. Your ikigai is a web of work and family and play and how you spend your time, what you give your energies to, what you say “yes” to, what you say “no” to, what new challenges you take on, things that come your way that you never wanted or planned for or know what to do with— your ikigai is a work in progress because you are a work in progress. Knowing your ikigai, then, takes patience, and insight, and courage, and honesty. You try lots of different things. You volunteer, you sign up, you take a class, you do an internship, you get the training, you shadow someone around for a day who does something that intrigues you. You follow your curiosity. You watch for things that grab your attention. this is much easier when you’re younger and have less financial pressure and fewer others depending on you, but it’s true no matter how old you are. You explore the possibilities because you can’t steer a parked car. The one thing that unites the people I know who are on satisfying and meaningful paths is that they kept trying things, kept exploring, kept pursuing new opportunities, kept searching until they discovered their ikigai. And then from there they never stop figuring it out because they understand how absolutely crucial this is in creating a life worth living. Someone Should When you pursue your path, exploring the possibilities as you search for your ikigai, pay careful attention to things that make you angry and get you all riled up and provoke you to say, Someone should do something about that!!! The someone may be you. Some people find their ikigai by asking, What do I love to do? Others find theirs by asking, What makes me angry? What wrongs need to be righted? What injustice needs to be resisted? Listen to your life. Look back on the moments when you felt most connected to the world around you. think about those experiences in which you felt the most comfortable in your own skin. Reflect on when you were most aware of something wrong in the world and your strong response to it. Be honest about your joy. Sometimes our ikigai is jammed way down in our hearts somewhere because we were told early on, You can’t make money doing that, or That isn’t a real job, or That’s a waste of time. Ask yourself: Am I not pursuing my path because of what someone has told me is and isn’t acceptable? Which leads to another truth about your ikigai: It may involve a paycheck and it may not. I once recorded an album that no one cared about. I had written a number of songs so I booked time at a studio near my house, but I didn’t have a band at the time so I had a friend play the drums and I played everything else. I had it mixed and mastered and I made a few copies for friends. Who didn’t say a thing. Literally, I would play them the songs and when each song was done they’d say something like, I heard it’s supposed to rain later this week, or Didn’t you say you had some queso dip you’d made? I’d love to try it . . . Quite quickly I realized that no one cared about my music but me. Which was awkward at first, and then freeing. Some things you do for you. You do them because it gives you great satisfaction and it puts a smile on your face and that’s it. And that’s fine. It’s not just fine, it’s necessary. It makes you a better person, it fills your soul, it opens you up to life in its fullness. So don’t apologize for it, enjoy it. You may love doing or creating or making or organizing something, but that’s different from it being your job. If music was my job, I’d hate it. What often happens is that we love doing a particular thing and so our next thought is, I should do this for my job. Here’s the problem with that impulse: Getting a paycheck for doing that thing you love may actually ruin it. Interests, art forms, talents, hobbies, missions, passions, service projects, and causes all have their proper place in our lives. Some things we do fill us with life so that we can give ourselves to our work in the world with greater love and vitality and passion. Some things we get paid for, some things we don’t. There’s a good chance your ikigai will change over time. Relax, this is normal. You may get trained to do one thing but end up doing something very different. You may get your dream job and then get fired. Or the company may have to lay people off or there’s only one opportunity at the moment in that particular line of work and it’s in New Zealand. Or Bangladesh. Or Ohio. Someone you love may get sick and need you to care for her, you may have a child with special needs whose primary care falls to you, you may become injured and not be able to do that thing that you’ve done all these years. That may happen. And it’s okay. It’s all part of how your ikigai gets worked out over the course of your life. Step Several years ago I was talking with a very wealthy man I know—let’s call him Wayne. Wayne doesn’t have to work another day in his life. that kind of wealth. And yet all he wanted to talk about is how bored he is. It’s the inertia of options: If you don’t have to go anywhere or do anything in the morning, that’s what may happen. You may not go anywhere or do anything. As it’s written in the book of Genesis, we make our way in the world by the sweat of our brow. too much money, not enough money, too many demands, not enough challenge, stressed from all the responsibility, bored and restless and ready for more responsibility— there is a tension at the heart of our humanity that none of us can escape. To be here is to embrace the spiritual challenge of your ikigai, doing the hard work of figuring out who you are and what you have to give the world. This is work we all have to do, because we’re all a piece of work, in the endless process of exploring our ikigai. I get up in the morning and I sit down and start working on my next book or talk or show because it’s the most natural thing to do and yet it regularly takes all of the discipline and focus I can possibly muster to stay here at this desk and keep working. I can’t imagine being anywhere else and yet some days I can’t imagine anything more difficult than. the. next. sentence. Your ikigai is exhausting and exhilarating, draining and invigorating, all at the same time. There are moments when nothing in the world seems more difficult, and yet you can’t imagine doing anything else. There is a paradox to your ikigai because sometimes the easiest thing to do and the hardest thing to do will be the exact same thing. Selling your house, giving away possessions, working multiple jobs for a period of time, going back to school and moving in with friends or relatives, sharing a car with your partner and riding your bike more, investing all your savings in a new venture, living on the other side of the world for a year— your friends may not understand, your co-workers may not get it, your extended family may think you’ve lost your mind— that’s okay. Better to receive some odd looks and have a few people roll their eyes than spend your days wondering, What if I did that . . . ? Take that step. Make that leap. Try that new thing. If it helps clarify your ikigai, if it gets you up in the morning, if it’s good for you and the world, do it. #FacebookFirstReads is a series of exclusive excerpts from soon-to-be released books. Excerpted from How to Be Here by Rob Bell. Copyright ©2016 by WORB, Inc. Published by HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

Stepping Up part 2- Who God is matters more then who you are not

"Who God is matters more than who you’re not. Who are you? Have you ever thought about how you’d answer that question? A long time ago people were known by a label that went with their name. Alexander the Great. Richard the Lion Heart. Winnie the Pooh. So when you’re asking yourself that question— who you really are—you’re essentially asking yourself what adjective goes in your blank. Who do you think you are? Because who you think you are directly impacts everything about your attitude and performance in the face of challenge. Unfortunately for a lot of us, we tend to focus less on who we are and more on who we are not. Joshua experienced this same thing in Joshua 1" xp3 Students Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:6-9 NLT). Joshua finds himself unsure of who he is and needs to be reminded by the Lord that it is not so much about his identity and purpose but of God's. God says "I am with you and I am faithful." God gives Joshua a pep talk of sorts that not only helps him discover who he is but, more importantly, whose he is. Sometimes in order for us to step up in our lives we need to be reminded of whose we are and because of whose we are we can be BOLD in our life. May we live a life of BOLdness because we know whose we are.

9 traits of a church bully

Traits of Church Bullies By Thom Rainer “Church bullying is epidemic in many of our congregations.” Church bullies are common in many churches. They wreak havoc and create dissension. They typically must have an “enemy” in the church, because they aren’t happy unless they are fighting a battle. They tend to maneuver to get an official leadership position in the church, such as chairman of the elders or deacons or treasurer. But they may have bully power without any official position. Church bullies have always been around. But they seem to be doing their work more furiously today than in recent history. Perhaps this look at nine traits of church bullies can help us recognize them before they do too much damage. 1. They do not recognize themselves as bullies. To the contrary, they see themselves as necessary heroes sent to save the church from her own self. 2. They have personal and self-serving agendas. They have determined what “their” church should look like. Any person or ministry or program that is contrary to their perceived ideal church must be eliminated. 3. They seek to form power alliances with weak members in the church. They will pester and convince groups, committees and persons to be their allies in their cause. Weaker church staff members and church members will succumb to their forceful personalities. 4. They tend to have intense and emotional personalities. These bullies use the intensity of their personalities to get their way. 5. They are famous for saying “people are saying.” They love to gather tidbits of information and shape it to their own agendas. See my previous post on this one item. 6. They find their greatest opportunities in low-expectation churches. Many of the church members have an entitlement view of church membership. They seek to get their own needs and preferences fulfilled. They, therefore, won’t trouble themselves to confront and deal with church bullies. That leads to the next issue, which is a consequence of this point 7. They are allowed to bully because church members will not stand up to them. I have spoken with pastors and church staff who have been attacked by church bullies. While the bully brings them great pain, they have even greater hurt because most of the church members stood silent and let it happen. 8. They create chaos and wreak havoc. A church bully always has his next mission. While he or she may take a brief break from one bullying mission to the next, they are not content unless they are exerting the full force of their manipulative behavior. 9. They often move to other churches after they have done their damage. Whether they are forced out or simply get bored, they will move to other churches with the same bullying mission. Some bullies have wreaked havoc in three or more churches. Church bullying is epidemic in many of our congregations. They must be stopped. In my article on Wednesday, I deal with the topic of preventing church bullying. In the meantime, let me hear from you. Thom Rainer Thom S. Rainer is the president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources (LifeWay.com). Among his greatest joys are his family: his wife Nellie Jo; three sons, Sam, Art, and Jess; and six grandchildren. He was founding dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions, Evangelism, and Church Growth at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. His many books include Surprising Insights from the Unchurched, The Unexpected Journey, and Breakout Churches. More from Thom Rainer or visit Thom at http://www.thomrainer.com

Stepping Up

Used from xp3 Students Stepping Up Stepping up = seeing God in your situation. What makes you nervous? Is it speaking in front of people? Starting on the basketball team? Asking someone on a date? Whatever it is, there’s a pretty good chance that it has to do with one thing: failure. We’re all afraid we’ll mess up, fail, and look foolish. In fact, that fear is the very reason that most of us step back from challenges in moments where we could step up. That was certainly the case for a group of guys in the Bible that were sent to check out the Promised Land. For most of them, the report was simple: don’t do it. Don’t go there. Step Back. Almost all of them agreed that the new land was too scary, too dangerous, and that failure was too much of a possibility. Along with his friend, one of the men had something different in his report. And as we follow along with how Joshua learned to step up and out of fear, we’ll see how God can help us do the same. And that is just it, when we see God in the situation with us we are able to step boldly in faith. So often though our vision is clouded and we forget that God is indeed the God who is with us and the God who is for us. In those moments we remember that we are able to do radical things for the Kingdom. May we have the faith of Joshua and step boldly knowing that God is with us.